By Khanani Mabasa

“A knife is not a weapon nor a toy, but a tool, and he who uses a knife as a weapon, or a toy cannot be trusted with a knife” -unknown.

A few years back when my nephew was about to turn two years old, I had the privilege of being his caregiver for about four months. As his parents went to work 5days a week, I was stuck with him for at least 10 hours daily. My love for him kept growing as we spent time together and I cared for him as my very own. We had such a great bond and this little man knew I loved him as I fed him, bathed him, and played with him.

With all the love I had for this little man, he would always ignore me when his mother came home. He would ignore me like I didn’t exist, worse he would cry so loud to scare me off from touching him. I am sure he was convinced that his mother wouldn’t leave him if it wasn’t for my presence in the house. It would always break my heart to realize that, with everything I did for him and the care I gave, he still didn’t trust me enough that my intentions were only for his safety and happiness. So this made me realize that all the fun we had during the day was all to nothing since he could turn his back on me in a twinkle of an eye.

However as the years go by the bond between my nephew and I kept growing, and I knew he believed my love for him and that I would always protect him from any harm. I knew I should always be at the watch and be careful of what he touches and played with since he couldn’t differentiate between toys and harmful tools. If there is one thing we always fought for it was a knife. We even had to rearrange the setup of the carpet drawers in the kitchen to ensure he never reached the tools such as knives, razors, scissors, etc. So one Wednesday morning, I happen to misplace the knife in the last lower drawer, I don’t know how but he reached it and I only saw the knife in his hand. As I ran to grab it out of his hand, he started crying and I took it, but he couldn’t stop crying.
He kept on crying so loud that it even got me frustrated, as I wanted him to stop crying. I tried silencing him with every kind of food I knew he would like, to my disappointment this time he wasn’t accepting any bribe. I was so frustrated that I even wanted to give him the knife, however, the last thing I wanted was to see him harmed. So handing over the knife to him wasn’t an option as I knew it could be dangerous for him. To my rescue, the little man fell asleep, as he was crying and that was to my relief.

You may have rated me as the best caring aunt right?, but then to him, I was just as a bad one, who tries to keep him away from what he wants and yet still claims to love him.
As I watched him lay on his bed, I started adoring him, his cuteness, innocence, and lack of knowledge of what he was crying for. With this picture I started to realize that am no better than him, this is not different from the attitude I give to God. With all the proven love He has for me, I still do not trust Him enough to obey Him at times. I have no doubts that God loves me, but I sometimes still find it hard to believe He wants me away from certain things.

Thinking of the so many times I fought and complained to God because I wanted things to go my way. The relationships that God kept me away from and still gotten into and only ended me in pain. Like so many things I knew God never wanted me to engage in, I would cry and beg him to let me be just like everyone else. How many times did I try to convince God I was mature enough to handle some things, with ignorance it only ended me in a mess. Sometimes my trust will only last until I get what I wanted and then started doing what seemed best for me. Which made Him optional in my life, so it’s just like trusting Him to keep me alive but not to instruct how I should live.
Many of us if not all can relate our relationship with God to this, think about the times you went for something that you were warned against, and only ended you in pain. Some of the pains and the hurts we have encountered resulted from our disobedience. If only we had chosen to trust and believe God, we wouldn’t be here. However am not trying to point at anyone’s wrongs, but to make you realize that, it is good to heed up to the warnings. Sometimes you choose to trust God not because you understand why you shouldn’t do certain things but because you know He has your best interest at heart. It might not seem very clear at the beginning, His word is always perfect to end up working for your good.
Believing that you are just like a baby in the hands of the creator is the first step, into trusting Him. You will trust Him in everything, believe you me nothing ever catches him by surprise. Like not one thing you ever go through that He is not aware of. There is a loving God who sees beyond your tomorrow, but your everlasting forever. Wouldn’t it be better to trust Him than to lean on your understanding? At times it might look like there is nothing harmful, rather ask for God’s opinion on it before making a decision.

As a Christian, you should rest assured that the world in all its reaches never had anything better to offer for free before, and it will not start with you. The world may offer to its own but not to you. Everything it offers has its price, and will only end in shame and disaster if you do not live by the rules. I think this was the reason the wisest man said ‘’ trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your understanding”.He realized that his wisdom wasn’t good enough to rely on for the unknown. We can choose to trust God, knowing that He has our best interest at heart. Whether He chooses to give you what you are asking for or to keep it away from you, it’s all for your best! Corrie ten Boom said; “Never be afraid to trust n unknown future too. Known God.” And that there is the message, let’s trust God!


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